Counting the Days
by restinpace
Summary: This is Charlie's point of view from "Fire Water" through "Live Together, Die Alone" It is a songfic. Rated PG for mentions of heroin.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Lost. If I did then Charlie would've never died. I don't own Goldfinger either.**

Counting the Days

_So here I go, and there you went again_

_Just another stupid thing that I done wrong._

Charlie lay in the ocean surf watching as everyone left him. He couldn't believe that this was happening. He didn't know how it could've ended this way. All he had wanted to do was save Aaron, but fate had gone against him and now Claire was even angrier.

_Locked up in my head _

_Knocked down, beaten, left for dead_

_With all those brilliant things I should've said._

_Don't think about that, _he told himself. _Stop thinking about Claire. Focus on John, how could he betray you like that? _It was true. John Locke had been his first mentor on the island. He had helped him give up heroin and Charlie had really looked up to him. Now however... How could John think that he would just go back to drugs like that? Didn't he know how much Charlie hated them? Hadn't he seen how far Charlie had gone to quit? He had thrown them in the sodding fire! And how could he just hit him like that in front of everyone? In front of Claire?

_I gotta get away, and find something to do_

_'Cause everything I hear, everything I see, reminds me of you._

_There you go again Charlie. Stop it! She hates you! She doesn't want you near her! Stop obsessing over her! _Charlie wondered why everything he thought of connected back to Claire. Why was he so attracted to her? It couldn't be just because of her beauty, although she was beautiful, because he had seen many beautiful girls while touring with DriveSHAFT. No, he decided, it must've been because he felt like she needed protection. Ever since he had met her he had felt the need to protect her. He had gone out of his way to do anything he could for her because it made him feel like a better person, a person who was kind, generous, and cared about people. Now, however, she never wanted to see him again. He would have to find a way to distract himself from Claire and Aaron or he would go crazy.

_Still counting the days I've been without you 1, 2, 3, 4._

_Still counting the days that you've been gone._

_Day one, was no fun._

_Day two, I hated you._

_By day three I wished you'd come right back to me._

_Day four, five, and six, well I guess you just don't give a shit._

_Day seven, this is hell, this is hell._

His first distraction arrived in the form of Hurley. He had always been friendly with the large man, and so he was glad that Hurley didn't suspect him of using again like everyone else did. Or maybe he just didn't care. Whatever the reason, Charlie didn't care. He was just happy that someone was speaking to him. Other than Jack, of course. Jack had only talked to him because he felt it was his duty as leader, and also because as the doctor, he needed to stitch Charlie's cut up. Charlie didn't need that sort of conversation, he needed a real friend. This was why he was so glad that Hurley had come.

Hurley suggested that they go to the hatch and fool around with the stuff there. Charlie gladly followed. Unfortunately, the distraction didn't last long. Before he knew it, he was back to brooding about Claire. He wasn't paying attention to what Hurley was saying to him, although he thought he caught the name Libby. _Great, _he thought. _Now even Hurley has a girlfriend. _Suddenly, he got some inspiration. _Maybe Claire really _does _miss me, but she's too shy to tell me so herself. Maybe she wants Hurley to tell me for her. _Although he knew this was just wishful thinking, he couldn't help voicing his thoughts.

"Hey, do you think Claire misses me?"

"Dude, it's been a day."

Charlie decided that since Claire wasn't getting back together with him in the near future, his next order of business was revenge. John had humiliated him, and now he would humiliate John. He went to the only survivor capable of cooking up such a plot - Sawyer. According to the plan, Charlie would attack Sun and pretend to be an Other. This would cause the guns to be taken out of their hiding place in possible preparation for a war. Charlie, who could track rather well, would then follow whoever had the guns, and tell Sawyer where they were. When Sawyer finally revealed himself as "the new sheriff in town", Jack, and more importantly, John, would feel like a fool.

The plan went without a hitch. Sawyer had always had a knack for these things. Yet somehow, Charlie didn't feel any better. Maybe it was because Sawyer had assumed that Charlie had only agreed to the plan to get back his drugs. Maybe it was because he had joined forces with a man who had admitted that he had "never done a good thing in his life." Maybe it was because Sayid had reminded him of the awful things the Others had done, and he was ashamed to have imitated one. Whatever the reason, Charlie decided that he needed to distract himself in a more wholesome manner.

_Now I gotta get away, and find something to do_

_But everything I hear, everything I see, reminds me of you._

_Still counting the days I've been without you 1, 2, 3, 4._

_Still counting the days that you've been gone._

_Still counting the days since you left me 1, 2, 3, 4._

_Still counting the days you've been gone._

From then on Charlie dedicated himself to the good of the survivors. He went fruit picking, he helped Sayid build a "kitchen", he helped Eko build the church, he even helped Sayid and Ana Lucia find the balloon and grave of Henry Gale. Anything to take his mind off Claire. He could not bear the thought that she hadn't spoken to him in a week.

The day after he had returned from the search for the balloon he came across a kit of pneumatic injectors and bottles of vaccine. He had found it in the food drop that had come the night before. He had immediately thought of Claire. Maybe she could use the vaccines to protect herself and Aaron. He put the kit away safely until he would be able to ask Hurley or someone else to give it to her.

_A thousand things I wanna say to you, but it's too late now_

_A thousand things I wanna say..._

_A thousand things I wanna say to you, but it's too late now_

_A thousand things I wanna say..._

Finally, he couldn't stand it anymore. He went to Claire's tent with the excuse of delivering the vaccine to her. Although she seemed somewhat surprised to see him and acted uncomfortable around him, she didn't push him away. She actually thanked him for the vaccine. This emboldened Charlie to ask her the question that had been nagging him.

"Hey Claire, can you and I..."

She didn't appear to hear him because she was staring in the other direction. "Oh my gosh," she said. "It's Michael."

It was indeed Michael. He was walking back to camp looking tired and worn. Jack and Kate were accompanying him. Charlie hadn't even known that they had been gone. He had been too preoccupied with thoughts of Claire.

He walked away from the beach as everyone crowded around Michael to welcome him back. He felt ready to hit himself. _Stupid idiot, _he thought. _Why did you ask Claire a stupid thing like that? Of course, she's not gonna want you back right away. You have to take it slow. You should've apologized first. There are so many things you could've said. Why did you have to say the stupidest thing you could have possibly said to her? _

He once again threw himself into helping the survivors, especially Eko. Building the church became Charlie's only job on the island. It was all he thought about (other than Claire).

As a result, he was very upset when Eko told him that he was abandoning the building of the church. He decided to continue it without Eko's help. Unfortunately, Charlie wasn't exactly the strongest guy. He was having a lot of trouble building it alone. Suddenly, Vincent came up to him with one of the heroin-filled Virgin Mary statues. Charlie tried to toss it away, but Vincent kept returning it. Finally, to appease the dog, he picked up the statue and followed Vincent. Vincent led him to Sawyer's tent. Lying there, in the middle of the tent, were the rest of the Virgin Mary statues. Charlie felt anger well up in him at the sight of them. This was one of the reasons Claire was not talking to him. This was the reason that almost nobody trusted him. These drugs were the cause of his misery.

Charlie picked up the statues and ran with them to the ocean. He threw them in one by one and watched as they broke apart and floated away. He hesitated about ridding himself of the last statue. But, when he glanced at it, the anger welled up again. He quickly threw it in before he could change his mind.

As Charlie turned to leave he saw John Locke looking at him from further along the beach. John smiled at him. Charlie just scowled.

He had been so busy with the church, his drugs, and thoughts of Claire that he had almost forgotten about the funeral. Libby and Ana Lucia had been killed by the fake Henry Gale so he could escape. At the funeral, he somehow ended up next to Claire. She was crying and she suddenly slipped her hand in his. He looked at her, surprised. She had not said one word to him, yet here she was, holding his hand, like it was perfectly normal. _Maybe she's forgiven me._ He hoped it was so, yet it didn't seem likely.

Still, when he decided to help Eko in the hatch the next day, he felt it was only right to tell her where he was going. She didn't seem interested but he had no time to dwell on her (for once). Eko needed him!

The events in the hatch seemed unreal. Desmond and John had locked the door to the computer's room and Eko needed to push the button. Charlie tried to persuade John to open the door, but it was no use. Eko was forced to try and blow open the door with dynamite. The blast knocked Charlie backwards and he fell unconscious.

When he woke, he was still in the hatch. He looked around for Eko, and when he found him, he started to lead him towards the exit. However, the hatch began to shake and Eko told him to run.

He did just that. He had only taken three steps out of the hatch when it blew up. Charlie flattened himself to the ground until the danger had passed. There was a strange ringing in his ears now, and he couldn't hear very well. He made his way back to the beach and was met by Bernard. Bernard started asking him questions about Eko, John, and Desmond, but Charlie didn't know anything. Then she came. Claire. She took him by the hand and led him away from Bernard. He was too dazed to protest.

She led him to a fire and started fussing over his cuts and bruises from the dynamite explosion. All the while she was asking him questions. He tried to answer them but there was a funny ringing in his ears, and he couldn't hear the questions very well. Suddenly she was looking at him. She leaned forward and kissed him. It wasn't a long kiss. It was just long enough to say, "I forgive you."

_Still counting the days I've been without you. _

_Still counting the days that you've been gone._

_Still counting the days I've been without you 1, 2, 3, 4._

_Still counting the days that you've been gone._

_Still counting the days since you left me 1, 2, 3, 4._

_Still counting the days that you've been gone_

_Gone, gone, gone, gone_

THE END

**A/N: Technically the song fits all by itself without any story, but as this is the first thing I've posted, I wanted to write something easy, like a songfic. I didn't want to just post the lyrics to a song and not anything of my own, no matter how well they fit. **


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